'The Fear'

November 29th, 2022


Spoken by Alexandra Rollisson – Personal Matchmaker and dating expert of 8 years.

As a Personal Matchmaker, I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the expression ‘I’d rather stay single, unless the perfect person comes along and sweeps me off my feet’.

We know that it is so rare for this to be the case nowadays, and we just don’t meet in bars or in the street, and if we did, I think most of us are hugely put off by that approach to dating.

There is the option of free or cheaper online dating sites but the reality of it is that it is massively time consuming. You can meet people who are just not what they say they are, and waste energy with endless messages and never actually getting to the stage of meeting anyone. In other words, its just a huge effort sifting and sorting through the amount of people available to you.

What if I can tell you, there is another way.

A way that allows you to represent you for exactly who you are and in return know that you’ll be introduced to people who are also what they say they are on profile.

When I talk about ‘the fear’ in dating, I’m often referring to how good as humans we are at distracting ourselves from the reality of what we truly want to fulfil our lives. For all of us, that is just as simple as sharing it with someone by your side.

Sadly, many of us are tainted by a previous relationship in one way or another and have developed a way to protect ourselves from the pain caused.

Have you ever considered that what you’re actually feeling is ‘the fear’ and you’re not allowing yourself to be in that vulnerable position once again? You are simply finding any excuse to not make things work with someone because deep down you are fearful of what the future might hold.

All I can say is that once know that you have been strong enough to get through whatever it is you went through, you are strong enough to know that you can get through anything that life throws at you.

With the likes of online dating and all it entails; we seem to have grown into this disposable world with tick boxes longer than you could ever imagine.

I agree, we can’t just settle for anything or anyone and there has to be certain elements of what you are looking for in a future partner. But have you thought about letting go of all this and trust your instinct and genuine connection with someone? In may just really work!

We are really good at distracting ourselves and being really happy on your own, but there will always be a void. Were social creatures let’s face it!

With our coaching programme, alongside working with a Personal Matchmaker, we can help you overcome some of the anxieties you might be feeling, and who knows you might find your imperfect person, who is perfect for you!

If this resonates with you in anyway, please reach out to see how we can help.